A Prayer for Marriages

This past Saturday it was my joy to officiate Jared and Phoebe's wedding.

When Phoebe first asked me, I was very surprised. I had never officiated a wedding before, but I said yes because both Julian (my husband) and I saw this as an opportunity to be there for a young couple starting their life together; an opportunity to come alongside them and support them.

So over the past 5 months leading up to the wedding, Jared, Phoebe, Julian and I had the opportunity to get together, have lots of open, honest conversation about marriage, and work through a Bible study called “Gospel-Centered Marriage.” Julian and I shared the struggles and the joys of our marriage with them. We offered advice and shared our testimony of how the Lord has helped us to persevere through difficult seasons of marriage. We shared how God has and continues to make something beautiful out of two broken people.

Ultimately, I hope that Jared and Phoebe sensed our deep desire to see all marriages flourish in seasons of joy and delight, and especially in seasons of suffering and sorrow.

Below is the message I shared at their wedding, and my sincere prayer is that this message would be a source of powerful hope and encouragement for you and your marriage today.

"Since we believe that God is the One who designed marriage, and He designed the specific roles for the man and the woman in marriage, my message is from His Word. I want to share His wisdom, not my own. Today, we are going to look at a prayer. This prayer was written by Paul, a messenger of the Gospel. Paul wrote this prayer to the Christians who were living in Ephesus and this is my prayer for you, Jared and Phoebe, as you enter into a marriage covenant today.

Ephesians 3:14-20 I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

First, it’s important to note who Paul is praying to. He calls God Father and the Creator of everything in heaven and earth!

Paul is acknowledging that God is the source of all life. As Creator, He formed you in your mother’s womb, and as Father, He knows you intimately. He made you and therefore, knows and has everything you need.

**You are entering into an intimate, covenant relationship, but it is important to remember that you were not designed to find ultimate satisfaction in each other. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is designed to be satisfying, but marriage was not designed to be what your hope and security are rooted in. Only God can bear the weight of your worship and total dependence. Prioritizing your personal relationship with your Creator and your Heavenly Father, is foundational and essential to having the kind of marriage He designed for you to have with one another. My prayer is that you would foster your relationship with God individually and together, and as you look to Him for your deepest and greatest satisfaction, you will be free to love each other in a healthier way...God’s way.

Second, Paul is acknowledging that since God is the Creator of everything, He is our source of inner strength, of increasing ability.

We were created, and by definition, we need to depend on someone outside of ourselves. Since no one created God, He doesn’t need to depend on anything or anyone. He is perfect lacking nothing. He is unlike anything or anyone we find here on earth. His resources are glorious. In other words, His resources are magnificent, excellent, pure and preeminent. They are abundant and never ending, and He generously and lovingly offers these resources to us through His Holy Spirit. He is the someone we need, and only He can supply us with the strength to live in the life-giving boundaries He has designed for us.

Third, Paul points to something we should continually do...Trust in Jesus.

Paul creates a beautiful picture with His words here, “Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” Paul likens roots that are growing and digging down deep into a nutrient rich soil, to trusting in Jesus.

This is the part of the prayer I want to emphasize today.

Notice these roots are planted in God’s love. There are three important things about God’s love I want to mention:

First, God so loved the world that He gave. Behind His giving was perfect love. Love motivated the giving. Since God is Holy, that means He cannot sin against us. God’s love moves beyond words to action and every action is for our good and His glory.

Second, God gave His only Son. He gave what was precious and perfect. He didn’t give us His left-overs. He gave us Jesus, who stepped in as our substitute and received the punishment we deserve for our sins.

Third, God gave us Jesus while we were still sinners and in need of rescue. God didn’t give us Jesus because we deserved it or could pay Him back.

God’s love is giving and generous, and based on His character, not on our performance.

Paul prayed that the Ephesians roots’, in other words, their hope, security, and ultimate satisfaction, would be nourished by this love continually, everyday, for a lifetime, so that they would grow to reflect God’s character- So they would grow: To love both in word and action To love generously To love selflessly, expecting nothing in return And To love when it isn’t earned or deserved...

**Cultivating a personal relationship with your Creator, depending on His resources, His Truth, His wisdom, His correction, and trusting Him is essential to the life and health of your marriage.

Why?

Because God has commanded you to love each other like He loves you. With love that is patient, kind, not jealous, boastful, irritable or rude. With love that is selfless and always forgives. With love that rejoices in truth and does not rejoice in injustice. With love that never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures every circumstance.

God has commanded all of us to love everyone this way, even our enemies.

How is this possible?! It is only possible to love like this, and grow in your ability to love like this if your strength and nourishment is coming directly from the origin, the exact source of this kind of love...God Himself.

You will face challenging circumstances inside and outside of your marriage. You will be challenged to respond to each other and others with this kind of love. But if you are rooted in Christ’s love, He will provide you with the strength and nourishment you need, and therefore the challenging circumstances you face will not keep you from flourishing, growing, and producing this kind of love; they will not keep you from reflecting God’s character, because those circumstances are not stronger than God.

Finally, Paul ends his prayer with, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

**When you are rooted in God’s love, His power will be at work in your life as a husband and wife, and His power will accomplish what you may deem impossible. His power can accomplish something far more beautiful and fruitful than you could even imagine. Marriage was designed to reflect the relationship God has with His people. It was designed to reflect God’s character toward His people, through the way you love each other.

Marriage was designed to bring glory to the One who designed it.

Now you may think all of this is unrealistic. You may think there is no way I can love and live like this perfectly. You are right, none of us can do this perfectly. That is why we need Jesus, and by entering into a marriage covenant, you are saying I am committed to growing in my ability to love my spouse this way. I am committed to growing together.

This is my prayer for your marriage today.

May Jesus always be the life-giving source you draw your ability from so that you will thrive within the vows you are making to each other today."

Sincerely,

Amy